Urban Tails: An erotic Christmas

Who doesn’t love a good Christmas story? Even better – how about a little naughty titillation in your Christmas tales? Centaur Theatre is two for two with its annual holiday event, Urban Tales, this year dubbed a very cheeky Urban Tails: an erotic Christmas.

Centaur did promise a season of ‘luminous’ theatre and what better way to brighten the spirit as we settle in for the long winter ahead than with a little Christmas ‘tail’ – wink wink, nudge nudge!

Christmas and naughty have long been mischievous bedfellows, from Eartha Kitt and Madonna purring and pouting their way through Santa Baby to Elvis gyrating to Blue Christmas. But Centaur’s annual antidote to the holiday frenzy of plush toys and sallow-cheeked department store Saint Nicks has never been sassier than this year’s edition and, contrary to popular misconception, the real Santa is a big fan. You’ll probably catch a glimpse of him drinking egg nog at the bar between stories!
Marianne Ackerman, author of last season’s hit finale, Triplex Nervosa, pays homage to the famous fat man and his fetish for full-figured women in Mankind, as told by Leni Parker. Yvan Bienvenue, renowned for his walks on the wildest side of Christmas, explores the strange yet possibly practical uses of a vibrator called “the butterfly” for an ageing mother in Madame Butterfly.

Everyone has that one Christmas office party they’d rather forget and Centaur shines a glaring last-call spotlight on two accounts of revelry gone sideways: Luciana Burcheri’s Feliz Navidad features Nadia Verrucci dabbling in anonymous sex, and Dayna McLeod’s Christmas Hands questions the wisdom of bedding the boss’s wife.

But no Christmas caricature would be complete without tales of teen angst, provided by Stefanie Buxton, who pines for her latest crush on none other than Jesus(!) in her own Do We Have a Mary? , and Harry Standjofski’s Quimby, an awkward high school boy anticipating getting to first base under the mistletoe. The marzipan on the fruitcake? Centaur will move the bar right into the theatre – just stagger to the stage for your next round of Candy Cane shots.

Urban Tails: an erotic Christmas is hands down nothing less than THE perfect holiday date night, so treat that special someone to the sexiest Christmas ever, or let Urban Tails get your office party started. Above all, leave the kids AND the parents at home for these five performances only.
This is XXX rated holiday fun for only the randy at heart!

Shows presented on Dec. 10, 12, 17, 18 and 19. Info or reservation: 514-288-3161